day 14+: last night

but it was late and i didn’t post it last night. got 4 pages done last evening. i’m stuck at another fork in the road, the direct result of going off the outline and not being prepared for what comes next. some of the work is very good, though, so i’m confident this was the right choice, i’m just frustrated that i’m back in decision mode as i write, trying to feel my way toward the best direction in real time. yes, some of it is exciting, but i also have a tendency to wander way off* target when i’m without a clear direction.

the most frustrating part is knowing i’ll be coming back to this section for some serious revision, regardless. i know there are problems – not enormous or catastrophic, but problems in fluidity and credibility – and i can’t figure out how to fix them and i don’t want to bog myself down in this, right now, but get the momentum of the whole story back up. i’m not entirely comfortable with this process, but i told myself that’s what i’m doing for this book, so i want to stick it out.

there are probably only another 2-3 pages left of this bypass, before i hook back up with the outline, so it shouldn’t be all that bad, right? strange, to feel like i can see it all and none of it at the same time, like i’m in the middle of a desert mirage.

or not.

anyway, check back this afternoon to see if i made it out.

* as in way way way way off


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