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out of my hands

i just got back from mailing the application to Odyssey, and i’m starting to wind down. in addition to the story submission, there’s a paper form with the standard questions, along with a roughly half-page space to explain my development as a writer, what i think my skill level is, my goals, etc, and it took me 6+ drafts to write it.

it’s actually pretty darn good, if i do say so myself, but when i tried to write it into the space available, it was too long! thankfully, i’ve had some recent practice with cutting to the bone of my material, which i promptly applied here, and another draft and a half later, it fit. at this point, though, i was getting too anxious to even fill out the rest of the application*, so i left what i had for the morning.

after i mailed it**, though, i took a few breaths and watched the Androscoggin pour over the falls between Auburn and Lewiston. it’s still cold outside, but it was nice to just watch nature doing nature things. humbling. a reminder of the insignificance of my own so-called difficulties and problems.

so, we’re on the upswing, clearly. i apparently needed the meltdown to reboot/flush the system. i’m feeling clearer and ready to dive into Manadan & Gupti, in Another Night, and whatever else may come.

i really, really, really hope to be accepted into the Odyssey workshop, but, as my wife made a point of reminding me last night as i was getting worked up over the application, it’s not the end-all be-all. i will make this writing thing work, one way or another.

i am so lucky.

* the easy stuff like name and occupation and education. i know, crazy.

** priority mail with delivery confirmation, which might seem overmuch, but i don’t want any mistakes at this point

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