not done, and that’s okay

actually, whether or not it’s okay, it’s not done.

i really thought i might have a chance: just bite the bullet and grind through to the end, come hell or high water; but i’m an old and persnickety man, and late nights and rush jobs are not for me.*

nonetheless, i feel extremely good about the work i have been able to do. perhaps the typing in process should be considered a separate draft itself, as i spend nearly as much time either confirming or further revising the revisions i’m entering. while this may not be the cleanest method, i feel the result is stronger than before, so i’ll stick with it for now. i’ve already tightened a number of passages and actually gotten an ear for that character’s voice which has been so elusive until now (and this time i mean it!).

in a related aside, i spoke to my brother-in-law on the phone, today, and he helped me remember and appreciate the work i have done, not simply focus on what i have not. i expect to be done within a week or so, and in the larger scheme, that’s pretty darn close to on time. besides, if the work is stronger for this extra time, which i certainly believe it is, so be it.

now, all of this positive spin is good, but it certainly doesn’t absolve me of not working more aggressively earlier on, so i wouldn’t have been in this last-minute race to be done. today’s deadline wasn’t unrealistic, if i had been better focused.

for example: i officially started the pencil revision on january second, and finished on the 29th, but in those four weeks, i actually put in perhaps two weeks of work. i had a few very strong days, and then a handful of steady ones. two weeks for almost 500 pages isn’t too shabby, and i feel betterabout not getting it all typed up in two days; however, right now i would be writing a blog about how it feels to be finished if i’d stayed on task.

on that note, it’s time to make up for some serious lost sleep.

* in fact, i was born old. i think i pulled one all-nighter in high school and three in college, all of which ended in varying degrees of disaster, for both my grades and my health. as for rush jobs…see the title of this blog.