momentum building (plus unexpected bonuses)

i’ve been making some strong headway on the HHNF outline and i can feel the momentum building to start the actual ‘writing’, which is always a thrill.

most of all, it means i’ve gotten past that repeatedly unexpected* moment when i sit down at the desk, pick up the pencil and hold it over an empty piece of paper, intending to start a new story. right at that moment, i find myself being pulled backward, almost a physical sensation, and i’m stuck, trapped by my own understanding of what’s to come.

it’s not the story that scares me, but the coming months of writing, re-writing, pangs of self-doubt, thrills of excitement, stretches of near-emptiness, and so on, before i’ll be done. i can see it all ahead, and i get a distinct sense of ‘wouldn’t it be easier to just do something else**?’

and it certainly would be easier, and sometimes i do do those other things, but i also always return to a simple fact: i love doing this. for all the rollercoaster that it often is, i have a fantastic time, even the worst of times is better than doing something i dislike.

okay, gotta go. company’s arrived for sunday dinner, so quickly, i stumbled across a couple reviews of Witness which i didn’t know were out there. the first was someone who posted a great comment on last October (yes, i’m a slacker), and the second was a review from The Midwest Book Review, which posted to amazon a couple weeks ago, which was even more fantastic!

okay, ignoring guests (family, no less). bad bill.

* it happens every time, but it still surprises me

** sweep the floors, dust the shelves, spackle the den, re-arrange the porch, clean the bathroom, do the laundry, walk the dog, balance the checkbook, or, best of all, blog about the inability to write…