day 15: back on track (whine, whine, whine…)

so, today wasn’t feeling too hot to start with. another lousy night’s sleep* and my lingering doubts and fears over the recent alternate direction of this last scene, made me less than eager to get to work. i did, however, get my bike ride in, raincoat and all, which certainly helped get my mind in a better place, as exercise always does.**

but above the garage i went, after a little bit of psyching myself up as i waited for the tea to steep and the leftover cinnamon rolls to warm up. i tried getting into kelly’s mind again, tried to hear and feel how she would really address this situation, what she would honestly say or do, not what i would expect a character to say or do in a movie of this kind of situation.

because this is the thing. i know it’s fiction. i know it’s urban fantasy. i know there’s no need to dot all the i’s and cross all the t’s. i know that readers, myself included, are willing to forego specific continuity or believability elements when the story is strong and the characters compelling, or when they’re just having a great time. i understand all this.

but i can’t let myself do it. 9 times out of 10, i will end up not liking a movie/book/etc., not because i didn’t like the characters or i didn’t think the story was interesting, but because of nit-picky little things about the world or the plot. talk about hyper-sensitive, just ask my wife about watching movies or tv with me. not fun.

so, when i write, it kills me to let this happen. this means, often, belaboring the obvious, which is never good for a story, so i end up finding ways to cut it out. for some reason, this seems okay to me. i can chop it out afterward, but i have to have written it completely beforehand. i’d like to think that the way i write it out completely beforehand means that when i do chop something like this out, it’s because the kernel of the rationale or explanation or whatever is now found elsewhere in the writing, and can be explained.

ah, there it is: i hate the idea of a mystery being explained by something i, as a reader, could never have known, given what the author gave me. i hate it when characters, who have previously narrated the story, suddenly “get an idea” but refuse to share it with the reader, in order to increase the suspense of the story. drives me crazy.

whoa, i’m doing a lot of complaining, here. sorry.

let me therefore end with the good news. i got another 3.5 pages this morning, ending with the completion of the bypass and the return to the outline, with a tighter, more intense end result. the worst of kelly’s harrowing situation is over.

for now…
(sorry, couldn’t resist)

* special thanks to the cat who vomited in not 1, not 2, but 3 separate places downstairs at half past three this morning. didn’t really get back to sleep after that.

** after the fact, at least.


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