my wife and i were talking about my lack of momentum and she raised the point of ‘revision exhaustion’. perhaps my lack of energy is because i’m just tired of looking at the same story over and over again. at first i resisted this, but it’s true. i’m having trouble getting regularly jazzed by the story, seeing the magic of it, and that’s cycling back to less productivity, etc..
as a result, i’m starting to doubt the worthiness of the story, the quality of this sophomore effort, my ability to write anything that anyone would want to read. add to this the seemingly daily news of bookstores closing, of amazon and wal-mart mutually collectively bottoming out the book market, of less new book deals, the steady flow of rejections . . . .
so, in an attempt to change my fates, i managed to turn out 20 pages through this evening, after all. not too shabby. is there excitement again? yes, some, but mostly a concerted effort to reach the end of this revision so i can get away from it. on the other hand, i am in a constant battle to do my best every step of the way. this can be really draining (and has been), but i’m going to get there.
now to bed to (hopefully) dodge the flu.